I had an epiphany today. I love my Dom (who is also my boyfriend (we have an open relationship)) and He is a big part of my life. But my existence and survival does not depend on Him. We haven't really talked much during the past couple of days but I haven't been too worried. I know I still think about Him and He about me through our poking wars on Facebook. I had a conversation with His other sub the other day who was pretty close to losing it because she hadn't talked to him all day. Again for a variety of reasons. But I realized some differences between her and I. She on one hand was freaking the fuck out and I was more calm and collected. Neither of us were either wrong or right but in that moment I decided I never wanted to depend upon one person for my existence. I don't think for me that would be healthy.
My second epiphany came when I was doing homework. I grew up in a conservative Christian home and never really met anyone who was too different than me. Last summer I answered an ad on Craigslist and started talking to a man who soon became my Dom and I his sub. Through Him I have met a lot of people I never really knew existed. I have joined a social networking site dedicated to BDSM and also learned things through there. I turned from a straight Christian girl into a bi-sexual sex crazed girl who recently got into gaming. Weird and quite the change I know. But change is good. Questioning what we are taught is a good thing. Which sometimes confuses me because some times I want to question my Dom but I have learned its safer to wait till later if I have a question about something trivial. Of course if I have a major problem or major question I can always ask and He is understanding. But questioning to prolong doing a task or getting punishment never really works out too well :)
Hope you all have a great weekend!!
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