There are moments after I send certain text messages that makes me want to throw my phone across the room and hide so maybe I won't see Your reply if I am scared as to what Your reply might be. However, then I get curious and and go grab my phone and keep it next to me. For like the first I dint know how many months, but not so much recently....pretty much not since March I was always terrified (especially at first...and then gradually less) that I would say something, anything in a text and it would piss You off so bad You would call our relationship off then and there. So yeah. That's pretty much where I'm at at the moment. It's always when I think it's a risky msg and then 99% of the time You reply normally which makes me relieved and then annoyed at myself that I freaked out so much.
Also, my perfectionist-ness needs to go away. It's been fucking with my brain wayyyyyy too much lately.
Day 1 of 30 day squat challenge = complete! Also weighed myself tonight and a full pound lighter than I was last week when I checked in the morning. Which means!!!!! I have 9lbs to go before I order stuff off my amazon wish list!!!!! Yayyyy!!!! Super psyched!
P.S. I really want to be fucked right now and get my hair pulled. Idk why but tonight I have just really been wanting my hair pulled. Also, I don't think I have ever felt so sexy as tonight. The corset I'm wearing is pretty much magic. Although, I feel like it would be really easy to turn on bitch-mode while wearing it (not towards You, never towards You, just at random people...like Mel).
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